12.29.2007

2. Running the Estrogen Gauntlet


Baskit Swimsuits: "Lucky 7" Bikinis. (On Kris, bronze green, on Brandon, dubai grey, on Bryan, riviera blue.)

We started the day in Central Park, at the Bethesda Fountain. Baskit owner Eric wanted a backdrop which would resemble a lake, or some sort of body of water; it made sense, we were shooting swimsuits after all. Little did we suspect that this was also the day of the Susan G. Koman "Race for the Cure" in Central Park, thus, thousands of pumped-up, estrogen-charged women were swarming the place, hormones ablaze.

As the models, Kris, Brandon and Bryan, stood behind the Bethesda Fountain, stripping naked to don the Baskit swimsuits, it was just a matter of minutes before women started to circle the shoot. At first I thought it would amount to innocent fun, but as the crowd of leering women grew larger, the shouts began, "Hey, baby, take it off!", and "Whew, I like what I see!" Here we were, five grown men, and I began to fear for our safety. I imagined this was what it must feel like to be a Chippendale's dancer in a sea of rowdy, drunken women who refuse to go home until they've fondled something male-related.

I would take a few pics, turn around to look at the crowd, take a few more pics, turn around, and each time I turned around, the crowd had grown larger and more vocal. I reminded myself that horny women, like dogs, can smell fear, so I tried to compose myself. The most embarrassing moment was when I noticed very young girls in the crowd. I thought, "Oh great, on top of making my models feel like cheap sluts, now I've exposed pre-pubescent girls to their first experience with porn." Sensing that this situation was headed down-hill fast, and with the appearance of the NYPD Blue probably eminent, we quickly wrapped up and headed out. As we scampered away, several women expressed their very real disappointment with our exit, but luckily, we made it out, our man-bits safely intact.

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